My Countrified Immortal
by ButterflyTango
Summary: Hi ya'll my name be Cathy Darkness Dementia Raven Way. I be here to tell ya'll 'bout my new story: My Countrified Immortal. It be a story with all the things that be happenin' im my life at right now. Please read this here story. reviews are much obliged!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! I guess My Immortal fics never grow tiring, do they? So this time, I went and "countrified" it! **

* * *

><p>AN: Special thank'ya (geddit it, 'cause Im country) 2 my gf (ew not in that way ya dirty rotten varmint!) raven, happyydeerzyukyukyuk 4 helpin me wif da story and spellin'. you re a great bud, thank ya for bein' that fatthful! Justin you be the love of my joyful life you rock too! Rascal Flatts rock!<p>

Hi ya'll my name is Cathy Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have real short light brown hair (with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-neck and warm brown eyes like them cow patties and i got lots o' people tellin' me I look like Amy Lee (AN: it ya ain't be knowin' who that there woman is it would be much obliged if ya would please leave this here site!). I ain't related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's quite a fine fella'. I ain't a vampire 'cause my teeth are bucked not pointy and yellowish not white. I got light brown skin from bein' out in the hot sun all day farmin' my crops. I'm also a witch, and I be goin' to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a farmer (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly plaid. I hate Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from the Boot Barn and Farmers-R-Us. For example today I was wearin' denim overalls with matching gloves and plaid button-up shirt, and some muddy boots. I don't wear no lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner or red eye shadow. I was walkin' outside Hogwarts. It was snowin' and rainin' so there was no sun, which I was very sad about, 'cause ain't no crops can grow without sun. A lot of people stared at me. I smiled at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy! I had heard things about him. I had heard he was a goth, which means he likes black and the devil. I be a Christian.

"What's up Draco? An' please don't be callin' me by my middle name. I like you people to call me by my first name," I asked.

"Okay then, Cathy." he said shyly.

But then, I started hearin' my cows mooin' and I had to go away.

AN: Is it good? Please be tellin' me, thank ya'll!


	2. Chapter 2: Annoyin' Satanists

AN: Thank y'all, happydeerzyukyukyuk for helpin' me with this here chapter! It would be much obliged for you people to please stop postin' those nasty reviews!

That very next day, I woke up at sunrise to the beautiful cluckin' of my chicken clock. It was snowin' and rainin' again. I opened my blinds to the beautiful not-sunshine and drank some orange juice from a bottle I had. My room was bright yellow and my bed was a pretty peach color. I took off my corn-seed sack that I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a pair of jean overalls, a plaid shirt, muddy boots and brown gloves. I put four pairs of extra snow socks in my denim bag(I had sewn it myself), and braided my hair quickly.

My friend, Tawnya woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her waist-length sunshine-blonde hair and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her blue plaid shirt with jean shorts (to her mid-knee of course) and put her hair in them pig-tails. We put on no makeup.

"I been thinkin' 'bout that blonde boy you been talkin to. I think he's a bad influence on you, what with him bein' a satanist and such." She said as we walked out of our dormitory and into the Hufflepuff common room.

"That's exactly why I don't plan on talkin' to him anymore. Don't worry 'bout me, honey." I said, findin' the doorway and steppin' through it.

"I think you're right. So please, don't start bein' his friend!" We walked into the Great Hall.

"No, I won't." We found our table and sat down to our breakfast of ham and eggs.

"Thank'ya Cathy." Just then, Draco walked up.

"Hi Cathy." he said.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't be your friend." I replied as politely as possible. I hate bein' mean, even to folks who don't love Jesus.

"Guess what." he said.

"Look, I really can't talk to you!" I repeated.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"I am gettin' fed up with you! Please stop botherin' me!"

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

"NO!"


	3. Chapter 3: Befriendin' A Goth

**Hi y'all. I got a couple of them reviews sayin' that "I done hit the nail on the head" with my country-ness, so thanks to you folks out there who read my story! Just so ya know, I'm gonna be outta town for a couple, three days, so please don't expect updates until Friday at least! Thanks!**

* * *

><p>AN: Please! Folks! I really need you to PLEASE stop postin' those nasty "flame" reviews!

On the night of that rock concert, I was a little a'scared, 'cause that gall-darn little boy, Dracula or whatever, wouldn't leave me alone! I knew somethin' was up when I heard a knock at my dormitory door. I had expressed all my fears to Tawnya, so she was standin' beside me, holdin' her shotgun. The stranger knocked again. I walked to the door and opened it right up. There stood Dracu..Draka..Drucla..whatever his name is. He walked in, uninvited, and cringed at my beautiful, brightly colored room. I told him again that I wasn't interested in him. He whipped out a knife and held it to my throat, threatenin' to slice it across my neck if Tawnya didn't drop her gun. She did. He said that he wouldn't be so merciful of I didn't go to the concert with him. I put on the cleaner of my two pairs of overalls and strode out the door.

We went outside. Draco's flying car awaited us. He was wearing too much makeup and he was dressed in all black.

"Stop it, Gothic boy!" I said, frighten'd of the boy.

"My name is DRACO." he said back. We walked into his fancy black car and flew to Hogsmeade. On the way he was listenin' to awful rock bands and, believe it or not, he didn't have one single tape of Gospel! He smoked those poisonous cigarettes and awful drugs. When we got there, he forced me to jump twenty feet outta the car. He parked it beside me, and yanked me to my feet, ignorin' my broken ankle. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage, and he started jumpin' up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"Ya come in cold, yer covered in blood, They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands ya to yer mom, She sets ya free into this life." sang the man on the stage. I plugged my ears, since they had gotten to ringin'.

Draco said offensive things that the Lord frowned upon, pointin' to the lead singer sung, filling the club with his loud voice.

Suddenly, Draco looked like a raccoon had gotten up his hind end. Very angry.

"What's buggin' ya?" I asked as he jumped up n' down to the music. Then I caught on. This boy liked me!

"Oh. I see. Well, if ya stop threatenin' me and become Christian, then maybe we can be buds!"

"Really?" asked Draco happily. He put his arm around me.

"Really." I said. "But, gall darn, please take things slow!"

The night went on slowly, and he was happy that I was gonna be his friend. After the concert, he drank some beer and asked the singers for their autographs and photos with them. He got a shirt with the whole darn band on it! Draco crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, too dizzy and high to drive, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts. Instead, he drove the car right straight into the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4: Takin' Back the Friendship

"DRACO!" I shouted real loud. "What in the name of Pete do ya think yer doin'?"

Draco didn't answer, but he stopped the flyin' car and he jumped outta the door. I parked it and stepped right out into the forest.

"What is wrong with ya?" I asked, madder than a mother deer with lost babies.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"My name is CATHY." I snapped.

Draco leaned in real close and I looked into his eyes, then suddenly, I didn't feel mad anymore.

Draco kissed me. He climbed on top of me and took off his clothes, his lips still pressed to mine. He ripped off my overalls and shirt, and he started feelin' around underneath my bra.

"Hey! What are ya doin'?" I screamed. I was beginning to get real scared.

"Stop it right this moment! Can't you see that she doesn't want that?"

It was...Dumbledore!


	5. Chapter 5: W H A T

**SOoooooooo sorry I haven't been updating. Here's another chap, and thanks to all my amazing reviewers who stuck by me! Shout outs:**

_**don'tblameme33**_

_**IAmMikuHearMeRoar Vocaloid-01**_

_**WobblyJelly**_

_**Gryffindor's Pheonix**_

_**punk-rock-mermaid-queen**_

_**Some Moron *Anonymous* **__**(**_**Thanks to you this chapter exists! Thanks for the plot idea! I had nowhere to go with the story!) **

**HINT: Read Some Moron's review for a SPOILER**_**  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>Dumbledore dun took out his wand and said a trifle of real funny words and Draco went real stiff-like and didn't move. Dumbledore dun ran over to me and saw that my ankle was hurtin' so he dun waved his wand again and a stretcher appeared for me to lay on. I dun climbed on top of it and Dumbledore tugged me back to that there castle. He dun took me up to the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey started fixin' my ankle. When it felt alright I walked back down to my room real slow like and Draco was waitin' for me.<p>

"Look, I don't want to be soundin' meaner than a bull with ropes around its belly, but I dun't think we can be buds anymore. Please be leavin' me alone." I said real polite-like.

"Okay, Ebony-"

"CATHY."

"Cathy, then. I don't think I can stand to be friends with a sweet little goody-goody hick like you."

"Then I'm glad we're goin' our separate ways."

"Me too."

* * *

><p>Two weeks dun went on by without a word from that satanist boy. I'd already gone and forgotten his silly little name. Dracula er Donlad er somethin'.<p>

An' then peculiar things started happenin' to me:

* * *

><p><em>Draco ran at me as fast as his little legs could carry him. He jumped on top of me and kissed me so hard my lip was bleeding. But the strange part:<em> _I was loving it. I kissed him back, and soon our lips were moving in passionate synchronization. But then he pulled away from me and slapped me. I cried and ran away. He chased me and soon caught up, throwing himself all over me. We kissed again._

I dun woke up to the sweet taste of Draco's lips twisting around mine. I sat and cooperated for a little, but then decided that he wasn't the fella for me and pushed him off. As soon as I tried climbin' outta bed, I started feelin' real dizzy, like that time I dun ate that cow patty when I was a small farm girl, and ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I had ever eaten.

I was so confundled! I didn't have no clue what was been happenin'. Draco followed me all the way up to the Hospital Wing and told Madame Pomfrey what dun happened. She took my arm and traced a circle with a cross on it and mumbled some words. Draco's eyes dun got all wide like the moon on a summer night. My whole body glowed bright blue. Draco went white as a sheet and collapsed.

Just then, I felt something inside me kick.

* * *

><p><strong>HAHA! cliffhanger! I'll try to update within a week kay?<strong>


End file.
